Thursday, January 15, 2015

To the ends of the earth would you follow me?

I had the hardest time getting out of bed today. I'm not going to lie and say I woke up at 7 am, cause I didn't. I woke up at 11:30 am. Depression sure hit me hard today. 3 months has gone by and everyday I miss Jamieson so much. I try to stay busy; walk the dogs, run errands, clean the house, but sometimes all I want to do is lay in bed and think of him. It's so hard not to when all I have are memories of him. Every where I go, something reminds me of him. 

The hospital gave us what would be his first teddy bear. I love this bear so much

Jamieson's tiny footprints
I can't speak highly enough of St. Luke's. They were so amazing and they will always be our #1 hospital. Like I've said before, don't feel bad for me because I am blessed to be a mom to 2 angels. I am moving forward with my life, but I have come to terms that I will break down every now and then. Even if I have another child, it will not be Jamieson. I will love my future children with all of my heart, God willing, just like my angels.

I've back to my fertility doctor and I've been talking with him about the next step to take. From now on, every time I get pregnant, I will be super high risk (I was already high risk with Jamieson) and if I am blessed with another baby/babies, I will have to be put on bed rest for 12 weeks until I am able to get a cerclage done. I'm not too excited about that, but I know it'll be worth it at the end. Thank goodness for Netflix, Hulu plus, amazon prime, and the internet. I will for sure be catching up on a lot of shows. I am excited to start again, but I am really nervous. I'm trying not to be because I know that God is in control, but I am only human and it's normal to be nervous. 

Please keep me and the hubs in our prayers as we continue in this hard journey. We can only leave it in God's hands. All in His timing because he has made everything perfect. Thank you to everyone that keeps up with my updates and continue to pray and support us. It is really appreciated. I have an amazing family and friends. God bless!

-Mrs. B


  1. Prayers always! And don't forget you also have awesome friends who might just come and visit and bring you food in bed! lol!

    1. Thank you so much Kelly!! And yes I do ;) I am very blessed! Yum! Food in bed :) lol