Tuesday, October 20, 2015

First you loose trust then you feel worry, first you get hurt then you feel sorry.

Wow, how long has it been since I've posted anything on my blog? Too long, that's for sure. Believe it or not, sometimes I have nothing to write about. My life isn't THAT interesting, you guys, haha! So I have a lot to tell you and a few pictures to show ya. So stick around for a little bit and let me entertain you for a few minutes.

So, I know the last time I wrote, it was about my FET #2 and that unfortunately didn't work. We went and had a talk with the doc about why it didn't work and what we wanted to do. The hubs and I had decided that we were just going to go ahead and take a break from all of this and just enjoy each other, which we've been needing for a very long time. Going through infertility takes a toll on your intimacy part of marriage because when you do IVF/FET they tell you no intercourse during your two week wait and then if you are pregnant, still no intercourse till you can hear a heartbeat. Hey, I'm just being raw here and telling it like it is. You all know I don't leave any details about infertility behind closed doors. So anyways, that was our plan to just take it easy and enjoy us again. Well, I guess God had another plan. We were ready to take a break when we had an angel pay for our 3rd round. Now, I won't mention their name because they want to remain anonymous and we want to respect their wishes. We were floored! We couldn't believe that we could try another FET round that was paid for. We thanked the person, thanked God, and cried. We cried a lot. Well, I cried a lot...still had extra hormones from progesterone injections and the lovely estrogen pills...fuuuuun haha, but honestly, I think I was overwhelmed by this person's kindness in paying our round! Gosh, just thinking about it is making me teary eyed. So we prepared for FET #3. This round was going to be different though. My doc wanted to add an extra injection, blood thinners, cause you know, I have enough room to prick myself with extra injections every single night. I had to inject the blood thinners on my belly once a day everyday and of course the PIO shots on my bum. The blood thinners weren't that bad, but my belly looked beat up. Well, it still does, but not as bad as when I started the shots. 
The things I do for a baby...

We had our FET scheduled for October 1st and we would find out on October 15th if it worked or not. Now, if you don't remember, October 15th is very bittersweet day for us. It's our wedding anniversary and the day I had to deliver our sweet little Jamieson. So we were excited that our BETA landed on that day. So October 1st came around and we headed to the clinic. The doc came to talk to us and was very optimistic, like he always is. He still didn't budge about transferring more than one embaby, which we understand he's doing it for my well being. Noon came around and was prepped to be PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise). Went home and just laid around for the next 3 days and waited the dreaded two weeks of wondering if it worked or not. I, of course am a POAS addict (pee on a stick/pregnancy test) and started taking hpts 5 days after my transfer. Hey, no judging, I can't help myself, ok! I tested everyday leading up to the 15th. Unfortunately, this round didn't work as well. Aunt Flo came to visit a few days before my BETA test. I was so convinced this round was it, but it wasn't our time yet. I called the clinic and asked if I still had to come. They said I did because they had to confirm. Let's just say that that day I just wanted to crawl under a rock and stay there. I got to the clinic and all the nurses came to hug me to tell me they were so sorry and they remembered what day it was. I cried, which was a combination of sad and happy tears. Sad because I miss my baby so much and because this round didn't work, but happy that the nurses would remember Jamieson's day. I went home and laid in bed and tried to keep myself busy.

That evening, the hubs came home and said, "Hun, I know this is a day that we will share with Jamieson but he is in a better place and wants us to be happy." I agree with him. His in the arms of Jesus and wants his mommy and daddy to not be sad anymore. That night we went and celebrated our 4th anniversary. The hubs bought me flowers and a sweet card and we had sushi for dinner. I felt better towards the end of the night. Plus, I had people messaging/texting me that they will always remember Jamieson and that made my heart so happy. Thank you to all! We had decided that for this third round, we didn't want to post anything about it for personal reasons. We just wanted to enjoy the moment to ourselves. That's one of the reasons why I really haven't posted much on my blog, IG, or FB.

On a happier note, we went to Dallas this weekend to celebrate our anniversary. We stayed at our favorite hotel in Dallas, the Anatole Hilton. We've been staying there for the past 3 years now and just make it our tradition to always stay there when we are in town. Well, my sweet husband took me to the Texas Veggie Fest as my anniversary gift. I was so excited!!! Kristina from FullyRaw/RawFully organic was there and I got to see her again. I got to meet her entire family. They are seriously the sweetest people ever! 
Selfie with Kristina!
One of my favorite juices, well and one of the few I can drink because others have pineapple and I'm allergic.

Delicious vegan nachos. The cheese is actually cashew cheese...amazing!

The hubs was happy because they had beer and he had a chickpea chana wrap (Which I make at home so he felt comfortable eating haha)

So yummy! 
Vegan/vegetarian food trucks galore!!

I wanted to try all the foods, but the lines were ridiculous. Next year we'll get there earlier.
After the veggie fest we went to a few breweries for the hubs anniversary gift and we met a lot of nice and fun people. Our first stop was at Noble Rey Brewery and I met Bradie James former linebacker for the Cowboys (and the Texans yuck lol). He organized a beer crawl to raise money for his breast cancer foundation "Foundation 56" honoring his mom who passed away from breast cancer in 2001. We talked with him for a while. Such a nice and humble guy. Oh and he invited us to come to the next beer crawl, which we said yes! So Dallas Beer Crawl 2016, here we come...I'll just have to sneak wine in cause beer is yuck ;) 

Bradie James and I are best friends now haha :D Here's his link to his foundation. Go check it out! Foundation 56
After Noble Rey, we went to Community Brewery and met new friends and had a good time, but we were getting hungry, so we decided to head to uptown Dallas for dinner and drinks. We found a place called Tacos and Tequila. The name attracted us cause duh, who doesn't like tacos and tequila, right? That places was awesome and the food, amazing!! We will definitely go back to TNT in December. After dinner, we went back to our hotel and hung out at one of the many bars they have there. The bartenders know us there, so it's fun to pretend we are someone famous, haha. Had a glass of wine there and then we remembered we are old and we went up to our rooms to sleep...I'm serious, it was 10 pm...feeling so old...haha
Root chips and 3 different types of sals...yum!

Me (and 10 extra pounds of me...)

Spiced Pumpkin margarita. I know, sounds weird, but OMG!

Grilled veggie tacos. I want to eat these every day :D
On Sunday, we met up with our friends from Dallas at our favorite brunch place, Cafe Brazil. It's a must to meet up with our friends when we are in Dallas. Thanks for meeting up with us, Kelly, Joyce, Jay, and little Hallie! Sorry we missed, Christopher! We love you guys!
Our "steps" picture now includes Hallie <3

I just love Hallie. What a sweet little girl <3
Well, I hope I entertained you for a bit with my boring life ;) Thanks for reading! Have a wonderful rest of the week and God bless <3

-Mrs B


  1. We had so much fun with you guys! Come back again soon! As always still praying!

    1. I'm so horrible at replying on my blog! Sorry! It was fun! We'll be back in December, and who knows, we might just move to Dallas really soon :D <3 Thank you for the prayers! love y'all!